Thursday, July 23, 2009



I've got elementary school kid bangs! Hahaha. I've been wanting to get them for a while, but I was afraid of how they'd turn out. =/ It's taking some time for me to get used to them, but they're starting to grow on me.

Yeah I went a little picture crazy, so sue me!

I'm just really glad that the week is over. Well, for me it is, since I don't have Friday class, woo! Lately I've been feeling like I'm being followed to my car after class. Gah! I mean, it could totally just be my paranoia kicking in, but oh, I don't know. And I do have pepper spray, but you can never be too careful! LOL so, today I got dropped off and picked up instead of driving myself to school. I wish I knew karate or something. Or Brazilian Jiu-jitsu! Hahaha that would be sweeeeet. =D Gosh, but summer school has been draining me... which is pretty sad, considering I only have one class and it's only twice a week. And I don't even have a job to tire me out more or anything... and it's not like I even do anything else, ever! HAHA. But it's a night class, and it's HISTORY! Ughhh historyyy. It's actually not so bad, though. My professor tells really good stories and so his lectures are interesting to listen to =). Lucky me! I've been pretty lucky with my choice of college professors so far--none have been too strict and my workload has never been too difficult to manage. And I am a notorious procrastinator... which is baaaadbadbadbad. But I just can't convince myself to change my ways... so the starting (and hopefully the finishing!) of papers the same day that they are due will just have to continue, probably for the rest of my college career. Hahaha, I don't know why I do this to myself! The other day, I found quite a long strand of white hair growing out of my head. GAH! Stressss stress stress. I'm getting old =(. It's kind of crazy though, isn't it? I look at myself and think, holy crap, I'm freaking 20 years old. Almost 21 years old! I've been living for two whole decades... each one of my fingers has 20 plus years of functioning, my eyes have already seen 20 years worth of experiences, my brain holds 20 years worth of precious knowledge and cherished memories! Well... honestly my brain capacity probably isn't that fantastic. And I have reaaaally poor short-term memory... hahaha. Where am I going with this? Haha uh, anyway, I just think it's mind-boggling how quickly time seems to flyyyy.

Actually, I'm terrified of growing up! Is this why I got this haircut? Just some ulterior motive of me trying to hold on to my childhood? Hahaha, no... not really. But seriously...yeah, I'm 20, but I still feel like such a kid. Being the youngest out of my siblings, I've been babied my whole life, and my world is just super sheltered. I don't really know much about the world yet... but I find myself content being surrounded by my family. I feel safe where I am, and I want to stay with them. And yet, on the other hand, I would love to just go out and explore places I've never been and do things I've never done before. And I'm sure that if I did do that, then I'd be able to gain the experiences that I need to make myself grow up a little. I've always pictured myself being married AND having my first child by the time I turn 25... that's only 5 (well, more like 4) years from now! Although I know that's not gonna happen now (there's no no no no no way! hahaha), I kind of wish that I was more mature for my age, at least. And that I had something, someone, some stability. I used to feel so secure about the future and having my own family with him, and even if the timing wasn't what I always pictured, I was excited and happy knowing it would happen eventually. I love way too hard. But now that stability is gone, and it saddens me a great deal knowing that this dream isn't a possibility anymore.

And so, I drown myself in romance novels and movies and tv shows. Particularly the sexy ones with ridiculously gorgeous vampires in them. ;) Would you like to see who I get to wake up to every morning? Actually, every afternoon... (I've had the most horrible sleeping schedule ever since summer started!)

Um, yes, Edward Cullen is on my ceiling, above my bed. ;DDDD LOL I swear I didn't put it there, though! I came home from school one day, went into my room, looked up, and found him staring down at me from the heavens!
"I like watching you sleep. I find it fascinating." --I had to have this Edward quote here. ;P
Oh, he can watch me sleep all night long... among other things......

What? Like you wouldn't be thinking it!

Hahahaha, omg, I've got the heart of a teenybopper... I'm never gonna get married! But that's okay. Rocco is the only male that will always love me and will neverrrr ever forsake me anyway!

Isn't he beeeaautiful? And he's fat now! A muchhh healthier 8 pounds! He went from 4.5lbs to 8lbs. Thank goodness he eats more now. I'm a happy mom. ^_____^ ...but a happy mom who needs to sleep! I feel like there was more I wanted to talk about, but I kept on rambling nonsense and forgot it all. When (more like if) I remember, I'll be back to ramble some more. =)

- R0SE

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